It's just about Christmas and I'm sure everyone reading this has finished their shopping, so consider this an extremely early 2025 gift guide. I've tried to cover a wide price range here, but each of these is a serious suggestion with items I've personally tested.
This is Grok's idea of a "cartoon shop vac"
Battery Powered Shop Vac
One of the quirky things about my wife is that while she doesn't seem to like vacuuming, she loves vacuums. She may not tell you that she loves vacuums, but her actions speak louder. On no less than four occasions during our marriage, she has asked for a vacuum as a present. And she has received the requested item every time.
The best of these is the battery powered shop vac. We had different shop vacs before, but invariably the cords become an issue. My dad keeps a 50ft extension cord wrapped around his shop vac, which is handier than hunting one down when you need it, but not nearly as good as being cord free.
We use the Ryobi cordless vacuum and it is great, but you will want to find out if the gift receiver has a battery tool system they already use. It's frustrating having one outlier that you have to charge on its own system.
A Subscription of some kind.
Most of the people you are looking for a gift for are likely more a part of the digital age than you realize. My 76 year old father was sitting in his recliner with two devices in his lap and a streaming service on the TV on the night I wrote this. Since we spend our time in the digital realm, we should at least try to do it with quality content, and that often means paying for a subscription.
This is Grok's graphic representation of a subscription.
You can use this in different ways as well. A subscription can show that you understand and support that person. For example getting an outdoor enthusiast an All Trails subscription or a homeschool parent a Daily Wire subscription. Or it can be used to try and improve the recipient. For example getting a couch potato an All Trails subscription, or your crazy hippie aunt a Daily Wire subscription.
This gift requires the most thought as there are wide variabilities between types of subscription, but it also gives you the widest selection of price points. Some possibilities are: Duolingo, The New York Times (includes daily games like Wordle), or geocaching.com. If you are shopping for a reader, Substack likely has a favorite author offering regular articles for a price. You can even think local, like the Cedar County Republican. Sadly, the St. Clair County Courier is unavailable at this time.
A Remote with a Find Feature
I'm not sure if this is readily available or convenient in any other model, but I hated to lock it into one streaming device. That said, the Amazon Fire TV Remote Pro has been a favorite gift I've received. The buttons light up, it works as expected without a million other options, and when the Chiefs game is about to start and the remote is missing, it is a fantastic feeling to say, “Alexa, find my remote." Then, the remote starts calling out for you.
A Long Shoehorn
One undeniable truth in life is that everyone ages. This may seem like a gift for the elderly, but don't we all hope our loved ones make it there. With the proliferation of laceless sneakers, the range of people this has become useful for has increased greatly. They will have fond feelings for you each morning when they don't have to bend down or awkwardly dance on one leg to get themselves out the door. For bonus points give this with a 3M hook to hang it inside the closet.
Those are my gift ideas for 2024 or 2025. I think you will agree they are timeless. If you enjoy reading about some gifts you would never actually buy here is Dave Barry’s 2024 gift guide. It's funnier than mine, but I promise not as useful.
Disclaimer: The author is fully aware that the true meaning of Christmas is not in gifts received. Further the author stipulates that he may be contributing to the commercialization of the sacred and degradation of American culture.
I got some great stuff for Christmas this year. A few things that give an exciting glimpse of our future.
It is probably telling that one of my co-workers is worried about my marriage solely based on the way I talk about Alexa. It would only be worse if she heard me talk to Alexa. You know all of the times you've had your hands full and needed something spelled for you, or looked up, or just wanted some music turned to put some noise in the room? Well, if you thought getting married would cure that, I must disabuse you (I just asked Alexa to define "disabuse" to make sure I had used it correctly). Alexa will not only perform these tasks but will do it without attitude. And in case you are now getting concerned about my marriage, my wife bought us the Dot, so I just love her the more.
I received the Echo Dot a little before Christmas, so my parents had time to get an accessory as another fantastic present.
This is where the future begins. The light switch paired with the Echo Dot means that I no longer have to get out of bed to turn off lights. Also, if anyone gets up in the middle of the night to get a drink, they can ask Alexa to turn on the light before they run into a piece of furniture or step on a Lego® left strategically placed in the path to the sink.
If you have modern wiring and a single-way switch, the installation is easy and the Kasa app visually steps you through the process. The app also lets you set timers or turn things on and off while away from the house which will make my next business trip away from my family a lot more fun. I got two of these for Christmas and also a wifi plug-in receptacle which we used for our Christmas tree, but now is connected to a bedroom lamp. This means that I am always only a shout away from illumination. A light switch does one thing, but these do it so much better that I can't imagine going backwards from here. The Dot has drastically changed the way I think about future purchases. With every new appliance I will seriously consider if Alexa integration is a part of it. I have already added the Logitech remote hub to my wish list. I am wondering at what point it would make sense to put a wifi lock on my front door. And I'm very hopeful for a price drop in wifi thermostats (there is not much reason for these to cost much more than than the light switch as the server software could handle the "smart" features).
Another great thing about the Dot is that it should move forward in abilities without needing new hardware. It is really only a wifi microphone, and it is remarkably good at that already. It can hear me from the bedroom or at the bottom of my basement stairs. Since it's job is to hear what I say send that to the Amazon servers then relay message back, it is up to the servers to get better. Which they can and will. Maybe it's only a matter of time before I can say, "Alexa, what was that thing I was thinking about the other day?" Until then I'll still have to rely on my wife for that one.
Where I live a lot of people were asking how anyone could vote for Hillary Clinton given what we know about her. I would usually say that I think many of her voters are asking how anyone could vote for Donald Trump. Though I had some of my own answers, I think for many, subconsciously the answer is Tony Soprano. Twenty years ago there is no way someone with the crude and immoral history of Donald Trump could run as a Republican and win. Rural residents of the Bible Belt might overlook one divorce, but not multiple divorces, bankruptcies, Playboy covers, and publicly crude language.
Then in the late nineties The Sopranos appeared and became a bit of a phenomenon. It was mentioned on the Rush Limbaugh show; many said it changed television. It popularized the antihero and led to a stream, then a river of followers in popular culture. Here was a man who was violent, vulgar, selfish, cheated on his wife, didn't put his kids first; yet viewers still rooted for him to overcome his enemies. It almost felt like you were hoping he would become a good man, but really you just wanted him to win. He never changed, but he changed the culture.
Seventeen years later we've had a steady diet of this kind of protagonist. And we've grown fat on it. I am surprised at the things I'm willing to overlook in a candidate, and just as surprised at the things I'm willing to overlook in myself. If you do not want more leaders like Donald Trump, we need to shift the focus of our culture away from heroes like Tony Soprano.
Geocaching is an international treasure hunt game. People hide a container with a log and mark the GPS coordinates. They upload those coordinates so others can find the container and sign the log. Often, the containers are big enough to contain trade items. I enjoy geocaching and one of my favorite things to find in a cache is a travel bug.
Travel bugs are not like other trade items; you don't have to leave something of equal value for them. But you do not keep them either. They can be in almost any form, but all have some kind of tracking number. Their owners assign them a goal or a mission which may just be to travel from cache to cache, or it may be something more specific, like visit all the states that start with the letter "A."
I enjoyed finding travel bugs and moving them along on their various quests so much that I soon decided to get my own. My first travel bug I made out of an old trophy and called it "Crown'em."
I gave it the goal to get to a cache in Palmdale, CA. And the following "About" section:
Along the way this bug would like to have its (and your) picture taken with appropriately kingly backgrounds, castles, suits of armor, the Queen of England, that sort of thing.
Experience geocachers had recommended giving it an interesting but not too difficult goal. They also advised making sure the travel bug didn't look like it was worth much and wasn't too cute. And they warned me to expect failure. So I was not sure it was ever going to get anywhere. The first person to find it posted a picture of it with her dog then did not visit another cache for months.
Thankfully, though she finally remembered the little hitchhiker, dropped it in another cache and started an interesting journey. The goal was to go west to Palmdale, California, so of course the first people to pick it up headed immediately east.
Once it was on it's way some neat things happened and people posted some cool pictures.
Then a cacher picked up Crown'em and asked if he could take it out of the country where it might have the opportunity to visit some real old world institutions.
I include this next picture with the qualifier that I don't actually believe the travel bug took two seperate trips to the southernmost point of South America. But that it how it was checked in, so it shows up in its map.
Now in Europe it continues to travel across borders, and cachers have been kind enough to send back pictures. Thankfully, it doesn't need a passport and as far as I know customs has had no problems clearing its passage.
As of March 13, 2015, with the different caches it has been checked into, the crown has traveled 18,841 miles.
Sadly, for every path of glory there is at least one tale of woe. Enter travel cat. Another bug we sent out into the wide world with what we thought was a satisfying and doable mission. "My goal for this one is to get to cache GC51T9E in Howard Florida. It would be great if you wanted to post pictures of your pet with this cat along the way." I also mentioned that it was made out of an old pair of pants.
It did make it to Florida in just 4 stops, but not quite to its destination. Then, it disappeared. We are pretty sure we traced the cacher who picked it up, but he did not log it and there is no sign he ever placed it again. If only our real cat could be disposed of so easily.
I've been a Royals fan for as long as I can remember. I was raised on the teams of the early 80's and remember their success, kind of. For most of my life, though, the Royals have been not so good. This year was special. The Royals made the playoffs for the for the first time in my adult life and went all the way to the World Series.
A few things contributed to my enjoyment of this season besides the team success. For the first time I was able to watch most of the games in high definition. I was able to attend playoff games. And I had Twitter which allowed myself and other proud Royals fans to celebrate the team in a very 21st century way.
I'm going to say this 160+ times this year: It's so great to watch Salvador Perez play baseball. #Royals
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) April 2, 2014
I didn't actually say that 160 times, but it's true. Salvador Perez is my favorite current Royal and I always feel like we can win when he is behind the plate.
I felt very positive about the season before it started. The main reasons being the success of last year and the additions of Aoki in RF and Infante at 2nd. Then Infante got nailed in the face and was wearing this to start the season.
I felt very fortunate to be able to watch the Royals from my home in El Dorado Springs and I wanted to share with others. Sometimes it came out weird, though.
@jimpurtle if you are not doing anything and want to see end of game. Come over. I'm alone.
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) April 5, 2014
I'm starting to think that if I'm going to remain a Royals fan, I'm going to have to stop watching them.
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) April 12, 2014
They didn't exactly get off to a hot start.
The team never answered this question.
@Royals What do you do with all of Gordon's broken bats? Is there a wait list I can get my name on?
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) April 26, 2014
Two more great things about this season were Ventura and Duffy.
I turned it on in the 5th. Saw Duffy had a shutout going. Didn't even look at the hits. I had no idea it was a perfect game until it wasn't.
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) May 18, 2014
Children are a great excuse to get baseball stuff. And if one doesn't have a man cave, a son's room is a fantastic place to display baseball things.
The season was full of ups and downs. The biggest down for me was this moment where Billy Butler was thrown out at first on a line drive to right field.
That was unbelievable. I'm done defending Butler. That can't happen.
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) May 30, 2014
We went on to win that game. Butler had a very interesting season.
I don't use this often, but LOL RT @mellinger: Billy Butler has three infield hits and one home run this season.
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) June 5, 2014
In early June we took the vacation I wrote about earlier. While we were away the Royals went on a terrific run.
Like I said, fellow fan friends made this season better.
@aaronmash And the last thing he said in top 8 after Wade's 2nd K: "The waiter says, 'Check, please!'" ...actually you say that TO waiters.
— Jim Purtle (@jimpurtle) June 28, 2014
As I understand it, if the Royals had won the World Series, Bruce Chen would have received a ring.
@jimpurtle Can you confirm that Chen just struck out Trout. I don't believe my TV.
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) June 28, 2014
I think it would have been deserved.
Having a Royal start the All-Star game was fantastic.
I'm a 36 year old man seriously considering buying this in hopes of getting a Royals All-star. pic.twitter.com/cK766hRM2v
— aaronmash (@aaronmash) July 7, 2014
As I said earlier, not a ton of people get the Royals games in El Dorado Springs. I liked having my friends over to watch with me. But every time we did it, KC lost. Until Aug 22. We were 71-56 at that point.
One of my oldest friends and die-hard Royals fan was not on Twitter to enjoy it with the rest of us. So I started a #GetTimOnTwitter campaign that consisted of Hunter Pence Sign type insults. I think this was my favorite of my own.
Tim Scott's favorite Simpson's character is Lisa. #GetTimOnTwitter
I had gotten in a bad habit of bad mouthing certain plays or a certain manager. I would occasionally get upset and turn off the game before it was over. On September 15 this caused me to almost miss a great comeback win. After that I stuck to the positive approach.
I still think they really do this.
Aoki should do that thing hitters do where they "fail" to get the bat on the ball until they have two strikes and manager takes off bunt.
The Royals made it to the postseason for the first time in my adult life. Tim got us tickets to the first home game of the AL Division series, if the Royals could get past the Wild Card game. For much of that game it didn't look like it was going to happen. I was worried at one point that fans would leave the stadium early. Which is why I put out this rather silly tweet.
I'll watch 'til the bitter end. I hope the fans at Kauffman do the same.
We won the Wild Card game and swept the Angels in LA. So my first playoff game to attend was to lock up the AL Division Series.Tim, who got the tickets, and Jim couldn't go. So that left me and Jeremy. It was a good time. No. It was unbelievably fantastic. Let's go to the video tape.
The party didn't stop. And the Royals were great about sharing it with the fans. Long after the game had ended, they were still celebrating. We moved down to field level, and got to share a moment with them.
I was able to attend one more game during the AL championship series. This time with Tim, Jim, and Delbert Scott. It wasn't a clinching game, but it was still and amazing experience, and it kept Sweptober alive.
For the world series, we could not get tickets. But that isn't to say we didn't try.
We watched game 7 in the parking lot outside Kauffman stadium. In the end, the team came up 2 runs short. When I think of that night, I see a vision of Salvy hitting a home run in that last at bat. What follows was my take at the time.
Spring training 2015 is underway. I am looking forward to another great season. Whatever happens remember: Baseball is a game; games are supposed to be fun.
Before 2014 our only real experience with insurance companies was writing checks. As a married couple we had never turned in a claim either our homes or cars. That changed in June with the wanton destruction of our Vibe by a North Dakotan deer. Then we had to have our roof replaced. Then we were rear-ended in our new car. It was the year of insurance, and I'm glad it's over.
I wrote about the car destruction earlier. Getting a replacement was much more difficult than we would have hoped. It required hours of Jill's time on the phone arguing the condition and quality of our car before the accident. The process was unpleasant. We replaced the Vibe with an almost new Ford Focus which looks nice but will never hold the same place in our hearts.
A storm came over El Dorado Springs in August which did approximately 200 billion dollars worth of damage in our town. Our house was not exempted from the destruction. Again too much time was spent hassling with the insurance company for payment, but at least we were able to spend hundreds of dollars so that our house could look exactly the same.
In October we were headed to Independence so that my son could meet his all-time favorite Royal, Willie Wilson. On the exit to Highway 50 and were rear-ended waiting for traffic to clear. It felt and sounded much worse than hitting a deer at 70 mph. The damage was not extensive, but it was fairly expensive. We didn't have to pay for it except in a lot of time spent talking to yet another insurance company.
In mid June we loaded up the Vibe and started our sixth long road trip as a family of four. Yellowstone National Park was our destination, with a planned side trip to Fargo, North Dakota on the way home. The trip was scheduled to last seven days.
We spent a night in Hot Springs, South Dakota and took the opportunity to visit Mt. Rushmore. I visited the monument before and was unimpressed. This time was different. The excitement of a five and seven year old is infectious, and the kids were excited to be at Mt. Rushmore. They liked the sculpture but they loved the trail, and the flags. They did not enjoy being quizzed on all these things though. As their father I felt it was my civic responsibility to insure they leave this monument knowing who the four presidents were and why they were enshrined there. Also I felt as a proud citizen of the Show Me State that they should be able to identify a state flag among all others.
Nothing sucks the joy out of a child's outing like a father with his facts.
Let's skip our night in Cody (I recommend everyone skip having a night in Cody -- Montana seems a better choice) and get to the main attraction of Yellowstone National Park. We had planned this vacation for months. Not that we spent months planning. Just that we had known for months we were going. We'd watched the terrific documentary on Amazon Instant Video and talked about all the things we'd wanted to see. We had not actually figured out how we were going to see all these things (OR WHERE WE WOULD EAT). There are no Wal-Mart stores in Yellowstone National Park. You probably knew that had you given it any thought. We knew it, but it never sank in what that would mean for our vacation lifestyle. No Wal-Mart means no cheap item we didn't think we'd need or was removed to make room for a stuffed animal, or we didn't know existed but desperately need on vacation. No Wal-Mart also means no late night runs for tomorrow's lunch. At Yellowstone you either plan ahead for everything you need, pay higher prices for slightly inferior products in their markets, or go without.
It snowed every day we were in Yellowstone. Every day. In June. June is supposed to be hot. I would allow it to get down to warm but that is as low as I want to go. We did not pack snow appropriate clothing. We had packed for four days in the Park and wore all those clothes every day. We also bought hats.
The real attractions of Yellowstone are the animals. Specifically, bears. On our second day in the park we were taking some postcards to the post office when flashing lights, a bullhorn telling us to leave the area and eventually gunfire, directed our attention to a a rather freaked out grizzly bear about 100 yards away. Grizzlies are fast and majestic but much less intimidating when they are running away from you fast as their legs can carry them. A nice lady came up to us after we were done at the post office and said she heard there was a bear up there. She said she had been staying two weeks and hadn't seen one yet. We didn't mention that was our second encounter in two days.
The great thing about Yellowstone is that while you are out trying to run into dangerous animals in close quarters, there is always something interesting to see. Park signs and rangers are fond of saying that the park sits on a volcano. This is why there are so many fascinating natural scenes like geysers, boiling mud pits, and mineral pools. It's also fun to watch children's eyes go wide when you tell them they are walking in a volcano.
To anyone visiting with children, the Junior Ranger Program is a must do. The program provides a focus for activities, allows children to earn a cool patch, and is an excuse for walking long trails away from the more crowded tourist stops. Our family hiked only one trail where we saw no other humans. At the beginning of the trail and along the way there were several warning signs regarding bears. What to do. What to have. That sort of thing. We did not encounter any bears. We did happen upon the scariest deer in Wyoming though. Because when you are all hyped up about bears and see something running through the woods, it becomes the scariest whatever it is in the state.
The entire family enjoyed Yellowstone despite the weather. We stayed in one of the cabins at Old Faithful Lodge. With a little better planning on our part, it would have been ideal. Though it was very small and had no television or wifi, we were comfortable enough to go to sleep after the long days of hiking and sightseeing.
When our time was up we drove north out of the park and into Montana before turning east toward Fargo, North Dakota. Montana is beautiful; I think every American should visit it. North Dakota will never make my list of top 49 states in the U.S. (I feel like I'm daring one of the states I haven't visited to be worse than N.D. Bring it on, Rhode Island. Hit me with your best shot.)
We spent the night just over the state line in Minnesota. We gave ourselves some extra time in the nice hotel, enjoying the pool and the free breakfast. Then we headed south through N. Dakota and disaster struck. This most hated of states has decided that cutting the grass between interstates is a poor use of budgeted resources. An unseen deer bolted into our lane and Jill barely got her foot off the gas before it destroyed our beloved Pontiac Vibe. Let Cannon and Meadow tell you about it.
At that point we were stuck a very long way from home with no transportation. We were 70 miles from the nearest city of any size, and that was in the wrong direction. My parents are wonderful people. They changed their plans, packed a back, and drove 700 miles to pick us up, turn around, and take us home again. They traveled much of the distance we did and saw none of the cool sites. We are extremely thankful for their generosity
To sum up: Visit Yellowstone National Park. Avoid North Dakota.
Jill and I had our first date on Valentine's Day eleven years ago. She didn't know she was starting lifetime commitment, but I had my suspicions.
Back in March we took the kids down to Florida. Jill is nearly as big a fan of warmth as I am and was willing to drive all night for a quick Spring Break trip. She let me take the boy swimming with sharks, while she fed turtles with the girl. Sunshine and warmth in March are fantastic things and we are still trying to figure out why we don't live in that climate.
In July we celebrated our 10th anniversary. About four years ago, we started saving money for a European cruise to celebrate 10 years together. Last year we bought a house, expending that savings account. Jill loves the house (it is pretty great) so there are no regrets, but we spent our anniversary stateside instead of visiting the Coliseum.
Throughout the year Jill supported me through fights with insurance companies, the ecstasy of a Royals World Series run, and many otherwise dull days that her love brightened. Every year that we have been together makes my top eleven list. She is the reason.
I wrote this almost a year ago on 2/28/13, but never came back to it to publish.
Yesterday was my birthday. It’s likely everyone reading this knew that and wished me happy birthday on Facebook. So far, this paragraph has just wasted your time. It’s been awhile since I've written anything; you'll just have to bear with me.
35 is considered by some a milestone birthday. In my mind it means half my life is gone. Other than that, though, it’s not a big deal to me. Our family is in the middle of trying to buy a new house and rent our current one. We have canceled our usual summer travel plans. We have cut back spending in every area. We would entertain offers on just about anything we own at this point. All that to say, I didn't want much done for me on my birthday. And having spent extra hours at the office the day before because of a snowstorm, I didn't expect much from the day.
Life surprises though. Through no real talent on my part, I have accumulated a wealthy life in people and comfort.
Highlights
My wife surprised me with a lovely card full of sentiment and joy.
My daughter was too excited by the prospect of her Daddy’s birthday to let it pass unnoticed. She made a card. And this:
It’s a doggy treat holder.
A friend brought me coffee.
Another friend changed their profile picture to one of the two of us as a tribute. Coworkers were genuinely happy to wish me well and celebrate with me by means of biscuits and gravy for the office.
My parents insisted we eat dinner together to celebrate. Jill made a cake she knew I would like more than anyone else. I know enough at this point in my life to appreciate these things.
There were lowlights as well.
I would have taken the day off if I had known Jill and the kids were going to be enjoying a snow day, but with the outage cleanup continuing I had to spend the daylight hours in the office. At one point after someone asking about my age, I was convincing myself that I was still spry. I decided to jump up and put my palm against the ceiling as I have done since I was hired there 8 years ago. I sprang off the ground with great confidence, unfortunately not with great height. I came about four inches short. I’m sure it was just the boots; I’ll definitely make it the next time I wear my dress shoes.
We bought Cannon a loft bed from a local dealer today. It was a clearance sale and the bed was close enough to what we were looking for to work for us. It wasn't anything special, or so I thought.
It is an all metal frame which fit together perfectly as seen here. I didn't count the number of pieces, but when I opened the box I was a bit intimidated. The instructions were clear and each piece was wall labeled and once I figured out which was the 5/16 bolt and which was 1/4, it went fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
It turns out this bed blew me away with its packaging. There were exactly enough bolts, screws, and nuts. It contained all the "tools" needed except a screwdriver. And it all fit in this box. I have no idea how you even start to design a solid piece of furniture and then go back and say, oh yeah, it all needs to fit in a box slightly longer than a twin size mattress and 1/4 as wide. Do computers do this? I wish I had taken a picture of how these pieces overlapped and fit inside each other.
I was extremely afraid that as I pulled the last piece I needed out of the box, it would have a huge scratch on it (not that I needed to worry since each metal piece was also individualy wrapped in plastic and all the corners had cardboard covering them!). I knew that if I had to return it, it would take me at least two boxes this size to fit it all.
So good show, DHP engineers, I wish I was as smart as you.
