Thursday, December 06, 2007


Deer season was the last couple of weeks in Missouri. For the first time since I was I left college, I was in the woods during rifle season. For two of the days I got up and in the woods before sunrise. This has now been proven to be a remarkably silly thing to do. I have only one time seen any deer before 8:30, and then they were standing on the path to my stand well before sunrise.

I did have one great insight this year though. Deer hunting for me is the same as trying to read one of those Magic Eye books. I sit in the woods usually in the early morning or late evening with low light. I look through the trees searching for an animal form between the bark and over the fallen leaves. Slowly my eyes glaze over as my focus shifts to a distance filled only with air attempting to see something that is not there. This continues until some noise draws my attention and I flip my head around, in a motion that will one day give me whiplash or a concussion, to see what is usually a squirrel.

Monkeys are Evil

I have made this point before, but never have I had such dramatic proof as this story entails. These monkeys are taking over the city and have already killed the deputy mayor. They are "rampaging neighborhoods." Not convinced yet, then read how these monkeys are attacking children. Pull quote from Dehli woman: "The monkey followed me in and buried its teeth in my baby's leg."

When Jill and I had just started dating, I took her to Colorado to visit Brandon with me. We took a day to visit the Denver zoo, to which I had never been. We were walking around the place and Brandon and Jill decided we should go to the monkey house. Not wanting to seem like a wimp, I don't think I showed any immediate fear. I do not remember passing through a gate or anything, but we somehow entered an enclosure and I looked up. There were ropes overhead, and I realized that at some point the monkeys had been loose or were loose out here where I was walking. I stopped dead.

Jill really enjoys doing an impression of me asking, "You don't think the monkeys are loose out here do you?" It is really amazing that she still married me. But fear of monkeys when you are in a zoo and there are ropes overhead is not an irrational fear. Just ask the woman with the gimpy-legged baby.

The Golden Compass

My second-favorite sports writer did a segment on the Golden Compass series of books (it's more than 2/3 down the page, look for Nicole Kidman). I had heard there was some kind of controversy, but this is a great description and article. I have no desire to see the movie, but I really want to read the books now.

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